A Ratchet Strap Oughta Do It

You are going to think we are such hicks.
But I'll let you in on a secret.  We kinda are :-)

With me being raised on a farm in Minnesota, and Mr. Wonderful growin' up in a teeny weeny little town tucked into the mountains of Southeast Alaska, we were somewhat doomed when it came to high society, stylish upbringing.

But we're perfectly okay with that.  Our first mattress had tire tracks on it (yes, it was run over after flying out the back of our Toyota truck on a Montana highway~ one of the funniest stories ever), we've been known to use towel-draped cardboard boxes for tv stands, and for some reason we hold onto carpet remnants like they're made of gold: "Surely we'll find a use for one of these some day!"

We're kinda nuts.

Which is why you won't be completely surprised to see one of these should you walk into our bedroom right now:

This is a ratchet strap, for those who are not familiar, and quite handy for many different situations.  Including beds.

Did you remember that last Thursday our new king-size bed arrived?

So exciting, right?  However, with Mr. Wonderful out of town until late Thursday night, and then working a 48-hour shift Friday and Saturday, we did not get around to assembling our new bed until 9pm last night.

Which is when we discovered a very major problem:  NO HARDWARE.

 Now, my first thought was, "No problem!  Mr. Wonderful can rig up anything."  I've watched him perform virtual miracles utilizing the right tools with questionable hardware in the past; surely he could do it again.

But as we examined the joints more closely, we realized the hardware needed was quite specialized.  And quite absent. Considering the quality of the bed, it didn't take Mr. Wonderful long to say, "I'm not drillin' into this bed."

Well, at this point we'd already disassembled our other bed and moved it downstairs.  It was late, we were excited to sleep in our new king-size bed, and we really didn't want to put our new mattress on the floor. 

Solution?  You guessed it: Ratchet Straps.

Greg wasn't gone long before he came back and began assembling straps.  I thanked him for coordinating colors well; he could have chosen his blue or red straps, but he opted for washed out yellow.  It really does go much better with the wood tone, don't you think?

(You gotta love Alaska...look at that late western sun still streaming in at 9:30pm :-)

I was also especially appreciative of Mr. Wonderful's concern in marring the corners when he eventually tightened the straps.  I suggested stuffing washrags under the straps in each corner, even running to retrieve various old rags from the laundry room, but Mr. Wonderful was much more thorough and found (once again) that a neutral-toned cardboard matched the bed's wood tone much better....while also offering more thorough protection.

I know you wish you were married to this man.

So, there is our almost fully-assembled new bed, complete with ratchet straps, cardboard corners, and a little girl up way past her bedtime. 

And here is our new bed, all made up:

Now please bear with me here.  This bed is the very first thing we have done in our master bedroom since moving in a year ago.

The sheets are king-size, but the bedding is from our old queen bed.  I'll be shopping for more appropriately sized bedding next.

The nightstands need paint; they, too, are from our queen-sized set, but I still like them so I'll make them work in here.

Those awful brass lamps are from a garage sale last summer.  I really like the shape, but now they really look bad beside our bed, don't they?  Yikes.  I see spray paint in their immediate future.

The plastic sconces on the wall?  Oh my.

And the wall color really needs to change.  I think the existing color is called Silly Putty. 
(Okay, I don't really know what the color is, but Silly Putty would be the perfect name.)

To end my Ratchet Strap story, I must tell you that I slept like a charm in our new bed last night, and after a phone call this morning, we have been assured replacement hardware is on its way.

Which is good.  We just may need those Ratchet Straps in the living room next.