On My Journaling Voice

Back in the summer of 2007, I served in a temporary position as Children's Ministry Director for our church.  Tuesday mornings we would meet for devotions and business discussion.  One particular morning, my pastor shared a fairly new concept with us.  It was called "blogging," or a "blog," short for web-log, he said.  He went on: "People write articles or journals online, and others visit their blog sites to read what they've written.  Many pastors have blogs now.....major news anchors have blogs....really, anyone can write one.  The whole idea is gaining momentum all over the web."

I laugh as I think back now on how puzzled I was at the concept.  My initial reaction was something along the lines of, "How do people find these blogs, and furthermore, what makes people care what they've written?"

Oh my...how naive I was.

Fast forward 3.5 years to November 2010, the fall I discovered the seemingly endless world of DIY blogs.  Quite frankly, my life has never been the same.  I began authoring my own blog, tackled home projects with new inspiration and guidance, and found the courage to pursue design and furniture dreams that until then didn't even realize I had.

What an educational season for me as I delved deeper into what fulfillment means, what constitutes contentment and peace, why God designed me with specific desires, when to recognize whether my motivations for doing stem from others' expectations versus my own desires, and how to incorporate all this self-discovery into bettering my role as a wife, a mother, a daughter and sister, a friend, a church member, and a follower of Christ.

Self-discovery is a journey I expect to be on the rest of my life.  God's grace is gentle as He continues to teach me His ways.....to be more like His Son.

My desire from the start of this blog was to focus on Home Design, DIY projects and Furniture Makeovers.  As a result, the 'voice' I use is consistent toward that end.  However, anyone who knows me well knows this blog has never been my only voice.

The truth is, I am first and foremost a journaler.  I've journaled for almost as long as I can remember. 

The oldest journal I have in my possession is from 7th grade where you can see my maiden name up in the corner.  I used spiral notebooks in those days since it was really all I knew.

I received the ballet slipper journal below as a going-away present from high school friends in Minnesota my junior year, the winter we moved to Alaska.  Throughout high school and college, I preferred small, pretty, bound books similar to this ballet slipper book:

Then, part way through college I transitioned to these more utilitarian journaling books.  My 11th grade Analysis of Lit teacher Susan Stitham required these particular journaling books for her class, and I realized a few years later why she liked them so much.  I filled several between the years of April 1991 and June 1997.

In 2004 I received an 8 1/2 x 11 spiral bound journal from a friend in Kenai (it's the one at the bottom below with the dark-haired girl on the front).  I immediately fell in love with this size and haven't really gone back to smaller journals since, except for a little side road with the circles notebook below (we'd just moved to Fairbanks and I couldn't find a larger one).  I'm not quite sure why the purple one below is in the picture. I've filled two of those pretty chocolate and blue ones and am currently working on my third.  (When I saw them in Barnes and Noble, I bought all three at once because I loved 'em.)

That, dear folks, is a lot of journaling.
So why am I sharing my journaling history with you today?  Well, the reason is because a certain tension has been developing between my two voices.  And I have a little secret to share with you.
My blog voice....and my journaling voice.....are not the same.
But the real clincher is this: I think I'm beginning to want them to be.
I don't know for certain, but I've experienced similar promptings like this in the past, and I can't help but wonder if maybe God is leading me down a slightly different path in my blogging.  A path that still reflects beauty in design, but perhaps in a specific design which extends much further than interior.
A design of His making. 
It's a journey I'm excited about even though I'm not really sure what it looks like.  But that's okay.  I didn't know in 7th grade I would end up with 29 years of journaling pages either. 
I just wrote.
So when in doubt, I'll just keep writing.