Okay, I'll admit it. When I originally committed to getting my house in order in Sixteen Days, I truly believed I would be done by Labor Day.
Please don't laugh.
Have you ever experienced one of those seasons in which it felt like each circumstance and event was strategically lined up for the sole purpose of challenging your personal resolve and commitment? In spite of best-laid plans, sky-high inspirations, and truckloads of work ethic, so many things came flying your way that you finally had to throw up your hands in the air, take a gulpy deep breath, and do the one thing that is ultimately.so.very.difficult.
Surrender?
The thing is, in the midst of surgeries, septic issues, broken garage doors, red-eye flights, bladder infections, a very sick dad, and a deeply-loved family member working her way through her own life-altering decision, one Scripture verse keeps running through my head over and over again.
We can make our plans,
But the Lord determines our steps.
Proverbs 16:9
Having always been a planner, I become easily thrown off when I find myself responding to urgency and unexpected events throughout the day. I am much more comfortable mundanely stepping through the to-do's of order and structure.
The palpable unnerving I experience when unexpected situations arise resounded like a Holy Ghost alarm 20 years ago as I considered a career in EMS (I met Fireman while we were both student firefighters in college). Probably best I didn't go that route.
I like predictability, function best with a plan, and become quite keyed up if a day is too disorganized and uncertain. I can actually feel my cells vibrate from too much stimulus.
I'm not joking. Ask Fireman. He knows that look on my face when cells are over-stimulated.
But at 44, I've learned to swerve and dip of necessity, recognizing that my schedule can become an idol if I'm not careful. I practice "letting myself" flow with the current, belting out the words "All to Jesus I Surrender!" ~ all the while trusting things will certainly be better tomorrow.
Back when I'm....you guessed it...on a schedule.
O wretched man that I am. What I will to do, that I do not do;
but what I hate, that I do.
Who will deliver me from this body of death?
I thank God ~ through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 7:15,24-25
Whatever would I do without the grace of the Cross?
I do believe our God is a God of order, and that schedules and planning are a good thing. Where I get into trouble is when my scheduled steps begin to diverge down a grassy path I feel is in need of wear...
....and I inadvertently miss the most important path which makes all the difference.
There is a path He has lovingly and graciously prepared beforehand. For ME. Steps He has ordered and determined for my growth in faith, my trust and obedience, and ultimately my greatest fulfillment.
Even if My Sixteen Days turn into Sixteen Weeks.
I am learning, sometimes painfully, to be okay with that.
Labels: Faith, kitchen, Paint, Sixteen Days
